F u n I n B e d . c o m -- Boinking Bloopers

Anonymous in NH:

"My boyfriend and I were fairly new together, I think two or three months. He was going down on me, (i was pretty new at this orgasm thing) and i was flexing all the right muscles, then all of a sudden, a loud fart escaped, right in his face. I was so embarrassed, and he just kind of shot up and looked at me wide-eyed, I don't think he quite knew what to do. Then we both just started laughing hysterically. After a while, he actually finished the job. We're now engaged, so I guess he didn't think it was too bad. Definitely my most embarrassing moment. "

Chrissy in MA:

"My boyfriend and I gathered a chilled bottle of wine, melted wax, and warm oil for a most erotic night. We laid a blanket down on the living floor and got to business... the evening was slow, sensual, and completely rocked my world. We ended with a particularly vigorous boinking AFTER the blanket somehow got pushed aside. A few days later I participated in a massage class, forgetting the carpet burn right smack in the middle of my back! When it came time for another student to practice the new back massage techniques on me, I couldn't bring myself to explain exactly how I got the burn on my back..."

Tammy in massachusetts:

"My boyfriend and I (husband now) lived a his mom's house and we were in his bed having intercourse and he was on top. His mother knocked once and walked in on us so my man rolled off the bed on to the floor taking the blankets with him leaving me there completely naked. If that weren't bad enough, she completely ignored the fact of what we were doing and started up a conversation."

Keelie in Tennessee:

"Me and my husband were at my mother-in-laws house and she gave me some rather heavy items, and asked if I needed help putting them in my trunk - I had forgot that I put some very naughty toys and lingerie in the trunk the night before and when she opened up the trunk - they were in plain site!!"

Jim in Illinois:

"Mark, a high school friend, made the mistake of falling asleep on the family room floor. His home was occupied by a very horny poodle that took advantage of his wide open snoring mouth. As if that wasn't bad enough, the doorbell rang and he answered it spitting... (telling us what had just happened), thus assuring high school immortality as the guy who got 'dog-humped in the mouth.'"

George in Minnesota:

"I had just broken up with my old girlfriend and one night I went out and picked up a new girl. So that night we started having sex and right when she was going down on me I say, "Oh Sarah, oh yeah," and Sarah was the name of my old girlfriend. Right during orgasm she slapped me across the face, picked up all her clothes and left. I never saw her or Sarah again!"

Raven in Ireland:

"Well, my man and I were at Disneyland. We went on my favorite ride, the haunted mansion...well the ride broke down and we were stuck! You know the part were the seats flip back, well we got bored very quickly so we took advantage of our situation, but we forgot their were security cameras!well when we finished ...well lets say we got around of applause. I haven't gone back since!"

BD in illinois:

"imagine, this driving home from an out of state trip with my girlfriend, and just not being able to resist anymore. after the best road hummer I've ever had making love in the front seat of a z28 at 70 m.p.h on I-80 and getting pulled over by an illinois state trooper. I cant imagine it anymore because it happened to me, I got tickets for speeding ,improper lane usage,reckless driving,and indecent exposure ( guess which was the most difficult to explain in court in front of 50 strangers).... needless to say although it was alot of EXPENSIVE fun, I've learned to exercise a little more self control when I'm driving and she gets more irresistible with every passing mile marker........... i think I'm gonna take my baby for a ride right now , wish me luck!!!!!!"

D in Florida:

"Before we got married, I had stayed at my wife's parents apartment one night. It was late when we got home and before we went in we had decided to take turns orally pleasuring each other on the hood of her car. The next morning her Mom said she knew we had been home because she walked the dog. To this day we still don't who was where when she had seen us."

Carly in California:

"When we were first married, we lived in an apartment that shared an apparently VERY thin common wall with an elderly woman next door. One night we were having a particularly good time and I was moaning like crazy. We were still deep in the act when there was a knock at our front door. A policeman had been summoned to rescue me from my attacker! I remember standing at the door, disheveled, and wrapped only in a sheet while trying to convince the officer that I was fine...and NO, there was no one hiding in my apartment, holding me against my will."